I HAVE NOT YET REACHED FAR ENOUGH

Something in me winces when I think others may read this.
Does this long post make up for many days without posts?


I HAVE NOT YET REACHED FAR ENOUGH TO REALIZE AND EXPERIENCE ALL THAT GOD CALLED ME TO BE AND SEE AND DO.

There is more in me than I am releasing to God—weaknesses I have clung to and usability I have withheld. Will the weakness keep me from action? Can commitment to action conquer my weakness? Lord, I do commit, help thou my uncommitment.

I live in the great joy of having been allowed by God to see my own feeble human efforts touch a lot of lives. I cherish the thrill of sensing His anointing enabled by living for Him. Yet, I struggle to keep the peace and confidence that comes from living a God-centered life from turning into smug self-confidence. Great men have boasted, “I would never…” only to become embroiled in the very thing they vowed to avoid. I cling to a list of, “I-have-never…” sins and try to avoid acknowledging a long list of not-so-visible commissions and omissions

There is a disquiet in my soul knowing I’ve not yet totally surrendered every area of my life to Him. Too many times I’ve exhibited faults like disdain, anger, fear, doubt, distrust, self-interest, non-action…where does the list stop?

The closer I draw unto him, the more my faults become evident in the inexorable light of His presence.

Since the preponderance of human deeds is evil, and God is always helping us get past our sins, does that mean that evils in my life frustrate the course of good? How do I get to that place where I am past damage control and into the place where I can operate fully in the power and freedom of His will?

Can that ever happen as long as I am a mortal being subject to the diverting exertions of my human nature? Will I ever be able to honestly say, “I am crucified with Christ…?”

Is it humanly possible to reach a level of relationship with God that I can escape the tethers of self-interest and pride?

I think about the implications of water baptism. When I went under the water I became immersed in a totally different environment. Water instead of air. Silence instead of a cacophony of voices attacking everything I revere as good.

Comes now the thought that compares water baptism to baptism in the Holy Spirit. I think the answers to the questions I have just asked are right here. If I live my life baptized in, fully immersed in the Holy Spirit of God—a totally different environment for my heart and mind—I will better escape the devil’s attempts to jack-hammer his influence into my soul.

A powerful verse is speaking to me right now. “Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit.” Ephesians 6:18 I see it clearly now. My hope to escape my human nature is to immerse my thought-life—praying always--into an on-going conversation with God in His Spirit. Praying in the Spirit must become the default action of my heart and mind. Whenever my mind is free to focus I must resume that dialogue with God.

I’ll think of it this way. It’s like an unending phone conversation in the Spirit. At times I must apply my mind to the business of living, but I must not hang up the phone. I must keep it to my ear and let the conversation continue and listen for His guidance.

Dare I let the awareness of my human frailties discourage me from pressing onward and reaching past my imperfections? The Holy Spirit is my reach-extender.

How amazing that a Perfect, Holy God allows such flawed things we humans are to represent Him and lead the lost to Him!